The Inn Between - The Swedish Candy Incident

The Swedish Candy Incident
Summer, 2000

On Paul's 24th Birthday, a few of us got together to celebrate. Towards the end of the evening, Emily reminded Paul that he hadn't tried the candy she had given him from her mother earlier that day. She bought him a little box of Swedish candy, knowing he had some wierd prejudice against Swedish products (I have no idea what the deal is with this, I only found out because of this incident). So he was a little hesitant to try this candy. He offered one to Scott to try first. Scott popped one in his mouth and gave us one of the most disgusted faces I've ever seen on a person!

So, Scott did a typical "guy" thing. He yelled out, "This is disgusting! Here, try one!" Then Paul did an equally typical "guy" (translation = stupid) thing. He said "OK". And Paul popped one in his mouth! Of course, as Emily and I could have predicted, Paul gave us an even more hideously disgusted face!

Emily and I, laughing uproariously, in severe danger of rupturing a spleen or some other internal organ due to the extreme stress our laughter caused, looked at each other and shook our heads in amusement and disbelief. Our immediate reaction was to advise them to spit it out, while amazed that they tried the candy in the first place. Then the guys did yet another typical "guy" (stupid) thing. They decided that neither can be the first to spit it out, so they had to keep it in their mouth until it's gone. And no biting it. It must fully dissolve in their mouth! So, after about 15 minutes of the guys shouting "Ewww! This is disgusting!" and giving rather graphic descriptions of what they thought the candy tasted like, the contest had a winner. Although how they knew what bad licorice and rotten tires tasted like, I think is better left unknown.

I'll spare you most of the details, but I will say the candy was so bad, that it left a film on their tongues. They even tried eating very strong mints to hide the taste but the candy covered the mint in this same strange film which rendered it ineffective! So, after an eternity of torture, Paul finally won. Scott made him prove he wasn't hiding it under his tongue.

Scott, unfortunately, still had his candy and it didn't show signs of dissolving anytime soon.

Finally, Scott gave up and spit the stupid thing out. Both Paul and Scott spent the remainder of the evening wolfing down mints and drinking soda, in a vain attempt to rid themselves of the foul taste. Eventually, Emily's mom showed up. Remember her? She's the one who gave these candies to Paul in the first place. So we saw her drive up, and Paul said "Hey, I'm gonna thank her and get her to try one of these things!" So she walked up the driveway and Paul said "Here, you gotta try one of these candies you gave me!" Emily's mom immediately backs up and says "No way!!!" It turns out, she knew all about them and gave them to Paul on purpose, correctly guessing he would pull a stupid "guy" move and eat the candy. But she didn't think he would actually keep the candy in his mouth until it dissolved! I think she found it just as amusing in the retelling as Emily, Paul's mom, and I did in the viewing!